Amazing Grace

I have a friend!
Thank you God for Etsko.
She is my next door neighbor and we have gone for coffee, lunch and shopping. She is from Japan, married to John, an Englishman, they have a 4 year old son. We laugh about the mysteries of England.  We sat outside yesterday evening, had a large glass of wine and watched the boys go wild. Thank you God for Etsko.

We are getting to know an American family who came over from Tucson with Opentext a year and a half ago. They have 2 young teens and plan to stay at least until their kids are into university. They came over for dinner on Friday, and I am excited for more time with them.

I barked at Michael for playing with the settings while I finished dinner.
He took this photo of his handiwork and I love it.

Set up by the front door, 45 minutes before the guests arrived to beg for money.
Is it wise to wear your crown and bling when begging for money?

My latest theory is that I am living in a land where almost everyone has some degree of social anxiety. Is there such thing as a country filled with shy people? How can that be a country-wide phenomena?

To remedy the isolation I feel in my daily life I have discovered the beauty of the ipod. I have never been a big user, I enjoy going out for walks without the added sound track. I like hearing the sounds that come my way. Mother nature, other peoples music, pounding bass from a bouncy car, dogs barking, people barking at their dogs or kids, kids laughing, etc.

Not any more.

I like to listen to George Lopez talking about the hilarity of growing up Latino while grocery shopping at Tesco. I laugh out loud while I seach in vain for hot dogs (I never found them). And they are called frankfurters...As I walk around Heath Lake I yuk it up while Chris Rock kills me with his stories about being black in America. And I have noticed that more people engage with me, smile at me if I have a HUGE grin on my face, about to break into laughter.

On a walk around Heath Lake

I do want to say that everyone I interact with here has been incredibly nice. English people are very nice, courteous, sweet and generous. We have had many people go out of their way for us, over and over and over. It is humbling. If only they were more chatty!

When I'm at home, I find I want to rock out. My current favorite is Wolfmother, they speak my language. I think this desire for more input is my nervous system adjusting to the QUIET...it suddenly makes sense to me that punk rock came out of this country (and to be fair, out of other countries too). Growing up tidy and sensible has got to encourage some serious expressive creations. Throw me into a mosh pit, I want to FEEL something.

A few years back I was knocked to my knees by a massive clinical depression. With the help of Mike I was able to get immediate help from my OB, who put me on Lexapro and got me in to see a counselor within a week. For the next year as I worked to recover I read only Jane Austen novels; she had been a favorite of mine since my late teens. I read everything I could find, including two unfinished books (devastatingly frustrating, by the way...I want an ending!), and several of her books I read more than once. I think I read Emma three times in a row. And every night in the early days of the depression I watched Pride and Prejudice before bed. Sometimes only 10 minutes, then the next night I started where I had left off. The world she describes was a safe place for my mind to be.

When I say that I love Jane Austen, I mean deep down. I feel her reach across the centuries and hold my hand the way my living friends and family did during that time and do every day. She captured humans doing their thing and they are funny and ridiculous. And thoughtless and selfish. And scared, secretive, generous, caring, daring and bold. She was born in Steventon, Hampshire, which is less than 30 minutes from our house.

Watching TV for me is like having a best friend who is a gossipy, popular girl in junior high. Her parents have more money than mine, and she often leaves me frustrated but unable to explain why. I resolve to move on and make better friends, but then the next day she has a new pair of designer jeans, and her hair is so cool, and other people like her and want to hang out. Besides, I have no one to eat lunch with.

I have often asked myself and Mike...what would we do if we didn't have TV??? Think of everything we could accomplish, we could be writing stories, painting great works of art, we could play games as a family, read more great works of literature, etc, etc. But oh, that America's Next Top Model, that Gossip Girl, that Food Network, that NBA Mike likes so much...

We decided to go without TV here in England. I thought it would be harder for the boys, but to my surprise, they adapted very easily and play nicely 90% of the time and attempt murder the other 10%. They invented a game called "Sink". Michael brought it up the other day and Dominic wailed, "But I DON'T KNOW HOW TO PLAY SINK!!!!" Michael explained, "It's when I am a vampire and you are a zombie and we get sucked down the drain!" Sounds like fun! 

Now I feel the pressure to get all that other stuff done! I gotta get on that, just as soon as I finish facebooking...

Michael with an invention and journal,
notice pencil tucked behind ear buried in mass of curls.
He and Dominic are on it.

So I move into this life we are so blessed to enjoy. And I look forward to the day when I can squeeze and kiss my Anna and William, when I can laugh in person with my sister, when I can get loved on by my mum. When our beloved friends descend on us in swarms and we laugh and cook and sing spirituals. Today I thank God for this rich life filled with love and laughter, and for the lovely, living, beautiful Etsko.

And I intend to go to Hampshire, to visit Steventon, to Chawton where Jane lived her happiest years in a cottage with her mother and sister, and to Winchester, where my dear friend is buried.

"In her, rare union, were combined a fair form, and a fairer mind;
Hers fancy quick, and clear good sense,
And wit which never gave offence;
A heart as warm as ever beat, A temper even; calm & sweet.
Though quick & keen her mental eye Poor nature's foibles to espy,
And seemed for [ever?] on the watch,
Some trails of ridicule to catch
Yet not a word she ever penned
Which hurt the feelings of a friend."
                           James Austen, brother of Jane

"William, Anna, Michael and Dominic"
by Dominic