I like it more and more here in Crowthorne. I love getting out to see new places, researching where to go, reading books and searching the Internet. My brain is happiest when we are tramping through woods walking from one town to another.
The other morning as I was walking home from dropping off the boys at school I admitted to myself that I don't want this to end. I want more adventure.
Our time here is coming to an end and we are starting to figure out how to get home. I walked in the house and told Mike, "Let's not go home!"
"What!?" He replied.
I have to add that I have been DYING to go home nearly the entire time we have been here, save for a week or two here and there.
We have a trip planned to visit Rome soon, it's a two and a half hour flight from here. So close. And there are so many other places I want to see. I want to visit Rainy in Bali, live in the holy land, live in Australia, try new foods, speak other languages. I am desperate to see and do more.
Meanwhile, we have a life in Tucson, we have children and family we miss every second. We have friends and a community we love. And there are adventures to be had in Arizona, petroglyphs, ruins, canyons and mountain tops to explore.
Talking it over with Mike, I started to see this desire to stay comes from greed. I want more, and I don't think I will ever be satisfied.
These words from the song The Dog Days Are Over by Florence and the Machine, speak to me:
And I never wanted anything from youI think there is so much truth to that. We don't want to want, yet we do.
Except everything you had
And what was left after that too.
It is a gift to suddenly be able to feel the greed. For some reason, it calms me down seeing it so clearly.
So we are making plans to come home.
I want to go to hot yoga, lunch, dinner and movies with Anna and William, have the grilled cheese sandwich at Feast, drink wine in Barb's back yard, squish my nieces, hike Sabino with my sister, go for a run with Amy, Zemam it with Felicia, snuggle up with Teresa, plan a time management seminar with Kara, I want I want I want I want.