More

I like it more and more here in Crowthorne. I love getting out to see new places, researching where to go, reading books and searching the Internet. My brain is happiest when we are tramping through woods walking from one town to another.

The other morning as I was walking home from dropping off the boys at school I admitted to myself that I don't want this to end. I want more adventure.

Our time here is coming to an end and we are starting to figure out how to get home. I walked in the house and told Mike, "Let's not go home!"

"What!?" He replied.

I have to add that I have been DYING to go home nearly the entire time we have been here, save for a week or two here and there.

We have a trip planned to visit Rome soon, it's a two and a half hour flight from here. So close. And there are so many other places I want to see. I want to visit Rainy in Bali, live in the holy land, live in Australia, try new foods, speak other languages. I am desperate to see and do more.

Meanwhile, we have a life in Tucson, we have children and family we miss every second. We have friends and a community we love. And there are adventures to be had in Arizona, petroglyphs, ruins, canyons and mountain tops to explore.

Talking it over with Mike, I started to see this desire to stay comes from greed. I want more, and I don't think I will ever be satisfied.

These words from the song The Dog Days Are Over by Florence and the Machine, speak to me:

And I never wanted anything from you
Except everything you had
And what was left after that too.

I think there is so much truth to that. We don't want to want, yet we do.

It is a gift to suddenly be able to feel the greed. For some reason, it calms me down seeing it so clearly.

So we are making plans to come home.

I want to go to hot yoga, lunch, dinner and movies with Anna and William, have the grilled cheese sandwich at Feast, drink wine in Barb's back yard, squish my nieces, hike Sabino with my sister, go for a run with Amy, Zemam it with Felicia, snuggle up with Teresa, plan a time management seminar with Kara, I want I want I want I want.

The Dog Days Are Over

Happiness, hit her like a train on a track
Coming towards her, stuck still no turning back
She hid around corners and she hid under beds
She killed it with kisses and from it she fled
With every bubble she sank with a drink
And washed it away down the kitchen sink

The dog days are over
The dog days are done
The horses are coming
So you better run

Run fast for your mother run fast for your father
Run for your children for your sisters and brothers
Leave all your love and your longing behind you
Can't carry it with you if you want to survive

The dog days are over
The dog days are done
Can you hear the horses
'Cause here they come

And I never wanted anything from you
Except everything you had
And what was left after that too. oh.

Happiness hit her like a bullet in the back
Struck from a great height
By someone who should know better than that

The dog days are over
The dog days are gone
Can you hear the horses
'Cause here they come

Run fast for your mother and fast for your father
Run for your children for your sisters and brothers
Leave all your love and your longing behind you
Can't carry it with you if you want to survive

The dog days are over
The dog days are gone
Can you hear the horses
Because here they come

The dog days are over
The dog days are gone
Can you hear the horses
Because here they come